Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George. 

We only carry sizes one, three and five. You could try Sears.

I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school. I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat it and be happy.

One time, she punched me in the face. It was awesome.

I want to lose three pounds.

On Wednesdays we wear pink.

I can’t go to Taco Bell. I’m on an all-carb diet. God, Karen, you are so stupid!

FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. 

And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye. 

There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!

Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white.

Easy white chocolate, I wouldn't want you to melt.

I'm gonna have a BF!  

Somebody throw Shamu back in the ocean! 

Hi I'm Cellulite Sally; look at my huge ba-donkey. Don't forget about me, I'm Backfat Betty. Now who could have said that? Oh yeah, it's Tina the Talking Tummy. 

How did you know?...I LOVE THIS SONG 

Teach him to say 'Yo quero taco bell.'

Oh my God, Brittany! You were thinking it! I know, but you said it!!!  

You beautiful chocolate man, has anyone ever told you, you look just like Denzel Washington?

Don't hate me 'cuz you ain't me! 

Hold my poodle. HOLD MY POODLE!! 

Fo shizzle ma dizzle.

1. You girls, are awesome-ly horrible. I hate you. Kill yourselves. 

Crushed it. 

Sisters before misters! 

I'm gonna finish him like a cheesecake! 

Fat Amy, what are you doing? I'm horizontal running. 

Bumper: So I have a feeling that we should kiss. Is that feeling a good feeling or an incorrect feeling?
Fat Amy: I sometimes have a feeling I can do crystal meth, but then I think, mmm... better not.

God is just punishing you because you're a ginger. 

Cynthia Rose: This is hard for me to admit to you guys.
Fat Amy: I think we all know where this is going... Let's be honest.
Cynthia Rose: Well, for the last two years I've had a serious gambling problem.
Fat Amy: What?!
Cynthia Rose: It started when I broke up with my girlfriend.
Fat Amy: Whoomp! There it is...!

Wanna see a dead body?

I ate my twin in the womb.

I've been shot!

Yeah, no, don't put me down for cardio.